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And he chose me still. He wanted me so much. I did feel as though I belonged to him, and I guess that is not a desirable situation. However it was not like possession. At least not a possession that rendered me without my independent self. It was more like we were an inseparable team. For some reason, Peter even seemed to know that I would not be offended when I read this file. Peter dismissed the two waiters with a smile and a substantial tip, and called me to join him. I ate the food with relish only then realising how hungry I was. We talked over food and wine and wondered about his oddities and what I was to make of it all. ‘You must think me so strange.’ ‘No, I only think I am strange for being flattered and feeling safe. Do you tap into strength in me or a weakness?’ After our meal, he reached over and took my hand. I felt so good. I felt as though I had known him for years and I felt deeply known by him. There was a dire potency to our connection and everything we did. He continued to breathe words into my hair as his hands began to move over the slick muscles of my back and shoulders. I leaned out slightly to catch his eye and he dipped his head so our lips brushed, words still flowing. We remained in the back for what seemed like only seconds before an electronic invasion of sounds resurrected reality and we grimly separated and re-dressed. I lingered outside his car before half-staggering back to my own feeling his eyes on my back. I could feel his instinctive need to capture me and prevent my departure – it was a tangible thing hovering between us as I crossed the short distance. My mind worked desperately, trying to preserve these recent memories and already setting up a file for the next chance. Mental lists were being made: when, where, for how long. I found myself on the highway without knowing how I got there and was startled at the intrusive ring of the telephone. ‘I miss you already.’ The words were expected but still delivered.
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